Q wasn't just a bodyguard he was a friend, a family, Backstreet family!

When I saw it being mentioned on my timeline on Twitter I thought it was some sick cruel joke, but shortly after I saw Leighanne confirming it and that's what my heart just broke.
Now some of you may think us fans are taking this a bit far but honestly Q was such big part of the Backstreet family, not only for the boys but the fans as well. He would always make sure everyone was safe, having a good time, joking with us, etc and I surely will miss that and I speak from my heart when I say that further BSB concerts and events will not be the same without Q because honestly when I knew I was gonna see BSB I was so excited being able to also see Q again.

Q always made sure I was well taken care of and if something went wrong he always tried to make best of it and I thank him for that, he goes far and beyond to just make you smile, because that's how I saw him, he was always smiling.

My thoughts and prayers are with his family and friend's during this rough time and it being so close to Christmas I'm sure it's 1000x harder. Although God gained another angel so have we and I look forward to him looking down on us and trying to keep us safe, he will be missed by many but not never forgotten! I'm not sure about you but I feel like we all have lost a friend, he was like a 6th Backstreet Boy, Johnny Q may you rest in peace.

Only thing I do regret is not getting a photo with him on the cruise 2013, and every time I saw him something in my gut was telling me to do it, this is your chance and I never did I always felt he was busy so I didn't want to bother him or anything so my shyness of that def kept me from getting that photo. :(

Sincerely
Shannon.

Time away from the world.

Hi everyone.

I'm writing to inform everyone that I will not be on here, I'm just needing to some time, be in my own world and keep to myself. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and if I'm not on by then also a Happy New Year!

If you have text me I haven't replied  I'm just keeping to myself, not ignoring you on purpose.

Always,
Shannon (AKA Shay)
xoxo

Why must good things come to a end?

I came across this video on youtube and it made me wish I was back on that boat not just for BSB per se  but because it was a big boat with tons of fun, drinks and friend's. *sighs*

The video

Review from my Aaron Carter weekend back in March 2013.

Aaron Carter Weekend
With:
Petrel Sisters
Carson Allen

March 29th & 30th 2013


Well the fun started as when I met up with Katie at her hotel we went and did some errands and such and rushed back to the hotel since Fay and Joey was waiting for us.
We went up and started getting ready and just hanged out and the time went by so fast. We went to the cake store to get the cake that Katie had made for Aaron from all of us and headed to the venue.
We were a little hungry so we went to grab a bite to eat across the street and Joey ended up meeting us there shortly after, we just hanged out and also met some other fans of Aaron, the funny thing happened is Aaron retweeted me while we were eating and I sort of freaked out a bit LOL but it actually made me very happy!

We headed to the venue again and just basically waited and we sort of heard Aaron doing sound-check and acting like dorks LOL. Eventually we were let in which took a long time due to sound-check, Carson came out and took some photos with fans (myself included) shortly after Aaron happened came out to go get something to eat or something and was taking a photo and fans started going over there and bugging him, so Aaron left pretty quickly, we were let in eventually and was told to sit until it was time to move up to the stage, so while that was happening we were watching Carson Allen doing his sound-check and Aaron came out to ride on the scooter, being silly and even teasing the fans that were at the doors behind us waiting to be let in.

Aaron rode by us a few times and reached for our hands, he smiled at me and said hi, and at one point it was mentioned from him that we expected to much out of him ha-ha!!
We almost missed our spots because of all the fun stuff happening but we ran to the stage like no other and got dead center eventually it became crowded but some how managed to get out so we could get drinks and such LOL it was fun.
I actually enjoyed Carson’s set and during a break I asked him if I could come on stage and dance he said he couldn’t let fans go on but then Katie spoke and she was told to get on stage for the next song so I’m glad one of us got up there LOL!!
The Petrel  Sisters were amazing I actually loved them they were very talented and very beautiful ladies! We actually got to meet with them after the show while waiting for meet and greet, we also chatted with Jess and she was very down to earth and very sweet!

When the Aaron came out it went wild, we were being pushed up against the stage, you couldn’t move or jump, it was very rough but of course I wasn’t going to give up my spot so I fought it out and thanks to a big help to Joey I was able to make it to the end. Joey kept putting my hands up when he came back, kept getting his attention, and I’m thankful I got some eye contact and smiles but it was also weird at the same time I didn’t want Aaron thinking I was insane or something ha-ha.
I’m not sure when it happened but Joey somehow got Aaron to take my camera and he ended up taking a photo of us and it all happened so fast and I was very confused but the photo came out very awesome and thanks Aaron for a great photo but yet again I felt like a idiot LOL but Aaron even asked Joey who he was but I couldn’t make out what else was said and sometime during the show some girl pulled my hair because I wouldn’t listen to her but I told her that Joey has any right up to be there as she does so I wasn’t going to make him move, but seriously no needed for the hair pulling.
When the Instagram photo was happening he ended up being right behind me and I had my hand on his arm and smiling for the camera but due to bad lighting you can hardly see me but I can point you where I am LOL
When the show ended Aaron was going by shaking fans hands and Joey was holding out my panties (he had brought at the merch table) and I’m like trying to get them back and Aaron took them wiped his face down with it I just laughed and said thanks and he smiled and left.

We ended up waiting about 30 minutes or so for meet and greet to get started but during that we all kept ourselves busy, Joey also ended up buying all 3 of us a chance to go bowling with Aaron Carter Saturday night which was very sweet and we were all thankful for it.
We were towards the end for the meet and greet and when our time came Katie went up first she ended up getting a kiss from Aaron and I was like “and not me not fair“,  ha-ha showed him the cake and we had to come over and get a photo taken with the cake, Aaron asked us for our twitter names so he can post it which was awesome ;)

I went up for my photo and Aaron basically took his hands and put them on my face and pulled me in for a kiss which took me by surprise ha-ha, I showed him the beanie’s I gotten for him and I told him sorry that it wasn't much and I felt bad and he was like no it’s okay I like them I also gave him the bracelet that I made him and he put it on and we went to take our photo I ended up waiting for awhile because Aaron had to fight for his chips and he left me couple of times to get them I was basically standing there like okay, so I walked back to my spot thinking nothing of it and then Aaron tells me to come back LOL so I did I’m like I thought the chips was more important ha-ha.

March 30th 2013

This was definitely a Aaron Carter day we actually drove to Ft. Collins to see his show which is a hour and half away give or take. We were first to get in and best thing is we were able to have time to use the restroom before we grabbed our spots. The pushing and shoving was way worse but we managed it through although our friend had to leave after a bit due to it.
We were in Aaron’s Instagram again and this time you can see me yay! It was fun seeing Aaron from the front row and able to experience this show again.
We waited for meet and greet and we were towards the end of the line again.
When it was time for my photo I went up and he said hello to me and smiled big we took the photo, we hugged and he gave me another kiss on the lips. I waited for my friend’s and we decided to ask for a group photo with Aaron doing a funny photo and Aaron actually asked us “What’s a funny photo” LOL and not sure what I said but I remember Aaron laughing and telling me that I’m funny and we had to retake it a few times because of how it turned out but in the end it turned out to be pretty adorable I think and we told Aaron we would see him a the bowling party.

It took forever to find out where the party was located but we went to the hotel, got ready and freaked out until then ha-ha, we actually thought we were going to be late but the truth was we was there on time and in fact Aaron was running very late and it was because he had to make sure his hair was perfect LOL but once he entered the fun was about to begin and we found out what teams we were on and basically all of us was supposed to have a chance to bowl with Aaron but that never happened everyone started having too much fun and forgot bout bowling.
He asked me if I was having fun and I told him yes but I couldn’t get the words out I just had a hard time talking to him this is how the conversation went
Aaron: You know I’m deaf too
Me: Really? *looks into his ears* how so?
Aaron: It’s from all the screaming from fans and the sounds from speakers
Me: Ohh that explains it and *feels dumb* ha-ha!
Aaron and Me: *laughs* and he pulls me in for a quick hug

 Later on I wanted a photo with him and it was hard since he was trying to talk to everyone and entertain but finally thanks to someone there she helped me and our conversation was like this
 Me: I’m not trying to sleep with you like these others girls are, I just want a photo
Aaron: Awe *sad face*
Me: Well if you want to sleep with me you can *laughs*
Aaron: *makes shock face* and grabs me and holds me into a head lock almost and we just laughed together
Me: What do I look that innocent?
Aaron: No not at all ha-ha

I think that was pretty funny and mind you we were all pretty wasted did I forget to mention it was a open bar? LOL :x I can’t remember what I said exactly but some point in time of this night Aaron was talking to some people and I ended up giving him a mini back massage which he didn’t seem to mind because he stayed for a bit ha-ha!
He basically asked us to come hang out with him wherever he went so we just followed him mostly was outside near his vehicle. I just remember it was like 1am when we finally got everything done and whatever and next thing I know we were invited to Aaron’s hotel for the AFTER AFTER party and I was like okay and to be honest I was nervous at first ha-ha.
When we arrived we was told to shut off our cell phones and put them on the counter face down in a stack and out of respect we did, and I also can’t go into full details of the night due to privacy for Aaron, my friend’s and I, but I never thought I would ever party with a Carter and I did. He’s a pretty awesome outside of work, I also got Q-tipped by Jordan I don’t know why but Aaron thought it was funny and I ended up saying something in return of that and Aaron was like “you know you’re really funny” I’m like thanks it’s not easy LOL and we both laughed at that.

Katie and I ended up leaving at like 4 or 5am the party was still going so we said our good-byes and Aaron hugged us good-bye and asked if we had a good time and of course we did that’s why we stayed for so long but Katie and I needed to get some sleep especially since Katie had to drive back home that afternoon all I can say is the next morning/day I was pretty sick I couldn’t walk or move and lucky Joey came and rescued me but I can honestly say I partied like a celebrity that night. LOL

Backstreet Boys Cruise 2013 - Day 3

October 27th 2013

Fun day at sea is probability one of my favorites because you get to spend all day on the boat and do whatever you want although with all the events going on that day it seemed we barely had time to breathe. Amanda and I woke up had room service again and gotten ready to go meet the Backstreet Boys sadly the people we with ended up not working out so we had to form another group which in the end wasn't so bad it all worked out in the end, the waiting seem to take forever but in honestly it went by fast and as we got closer we were told that groups will be in 4 or 5 so we ended up getting just 4 of us and we all got to stand by our favorites which was awesome.

Thanks to Casy for the monster drink! :) 

I was first in line so I started heading to the guys and Howie was first he saw me and started doing the gun pointing thing at me so I did it back to him told him hello and he smiled and winked, AJ was next we shook hands and I told him he needs to shave his beard so I can read his lips and he laughed and of course I was being serious LOL Kevin was next so I looked at him and told him hello and shook his hand, Nick was next, shook his hand, Brian was talking to a fan that was in front of us which screwed us up in the meantime but I told Brian hello and went and got my spot I told Nick for the photo if we could do the duck face and I knew he looked confused esp. when I had no time to explain what I meant after the photo was taken Nick asked me what you say and I told him and he didn't know so I showed him and he goes “oh yes duck face” and laughed and we said good-bye and Brian said good-bye to us and he shook my hand and told me it was good to see me and smiled, I said thanks you too and we left.

Until the Wylee party we had time to kill so we walked around, took photos, chatted, did whatever to entertain us. For Wylee party we stood behind the stage where I saw my friend Katie and we all ended up hanging out which was fun we also saw Howie afar sitting down to eat his food before his event, but the poor guy couldn't even eat in peace. When it was Howie’s turn he came by and got onstage and of course I didn't see anything since I was behind it all but Brian and Leighanne was down signing and taking photos and a lady behind me wanting a photo with them or Leighanne so I ended up helping her getting one and then another fan wanted a photo with Brian and I told her I would try so which I did it was hard but she somehow managed to get one and she thanked me by getting me a drink which she didn't have too but it was nice of her I just wish she could of gotten a better one, before the Q&A Nick and Howie was down and signing and taking photos I just watched them interact with each other and the fans watched some of the Q&A but I couldn't understand anything since I was behind so I finally left tried to find Amanda and I still couldn't understand due to being far to read lips so I basically walked around Lido deck and took photos the boys from afar and of the sunset once the Q&A was over Amanda and I headed to the dining room for dinner and happened to see Nick coming down from above he said hello to us and waved as he was running to the elevator in his flip flops LOL.

I took this during Q&A and liked how it came out.

After dinner we had plenty of time to do whatever since it was Group B concert night so we went back to our cabin and chilled a bit, packed up our suitcase to be taken, got ready for the theme night which was Bachelorette which I was most excited for because of the props I had for it LOL so we ended up missing Kevin’s event which sucked after we got ready we went and got our spots which was up above and glad we made that decision because it seemed to be chaos down on the bottom but it was nice to be out of the crowd and just enjoying and watching it all and let’s just say I laughed a lot this evening due the boys being themselves, having fun with props like AJ with a strap on dick, Nick and the penis water gun which was filled with vodka instead, Nick with bra’s and panties, Brian with a pink bra, Kevin fighting a big giant dildo, AJ and the giant dildo, etc it was too much to take in all at once.

Nick was giving away the pink necklaces and finally after few tries he sees me and personally throws me one which brought a smile to my face.

Eventually we all headed to the buffet for our last night of 2am pizza and ice cream I honestly didn't want to go to bed because that meant the cruise was going to be over but eventually we had to get some sleep.

October 28th 2013-
Monday morning we ended up ordering room service and we got ready I was supposed to meet Casy at 8:30 but they weren't up yet so I went back to the room while I went there was a huge crowd of fans standing around and a girl was telling me the boys were getting ready to leave so I thought to myself why not stay so I did and got to say good-bye to the boys one by one, which was nice to see them one more time before heading home after that I went back to the cabin and hang out with  Amanda until we got kicked out of our cabin and headed to get off the ship which was sad said our good-bye’s and I met Casy and Darcy outside and we headed to the hotel and that’s when it hit me that the cruise was officially over but made sure we enjoyed our last day in Miami so we ended up going to Wal-Mart to get a few things and headed to Hooters for food which was too good.

Backstreet Boys Cruise 2013 - Day 2!

October 26th 2013

Today was the beach party and I couldn't been anymore excited than I was. Ordered room service which was amazing it helped us get ready and such much faster and easier. We had to be at a meeting place at 10:00am but of course everything was running late so we didn't end up leaving until like 11:30 I believe. I thought it was interesting how they were taking us on this boat to the island which was pretty awesome we got to see our boat from afar and I think it was beautiful.

 When we arrived my friend went to do some shopping and then we headed to the area where everyone was and we walked on the beach and I have to say the sand and walking was working my calves like no other. I asked where we were should go and it seemed we had to go up to the boat where the bar was and such so we did got our spots but of course we didn't stay there for very long, but finally food was ready so I thought why not eat now so we can enjoy everything afterwards and shortly after I went and got Amanda her food but I was told I could get food inside where the bar was so that was nice.

I wanted to take it home with me

When the boys arrived Nick ended up jumping off the boat into the water it was so funny and seeing Mike having to take things off to go after him ha-ha. Brian came by to our section and was saying hi to everyone and chatted he mentioned to everyone that he would be back later on to take photos, he walked by us to go on to the stage and said hello to us. Kevin was up above us and he eventually made his way down to us and was able to get a photo.

Yeah Kevin and I.... 

Eventually all the guys made it out onto the stage and having water guns and having some fun, it was awesome to see them smiling and having a good time esp. Nick. They were getting ready to do games and such with fans and mind you at this time I had to take my hearing aids out because it was raining so a good 15-20 minutes I wasn't able to hear but I knew they were doing something they were bringing fans up and I was screaming not knowing what I was trying to go up for but thanks to my friend Amanda who got AJ’s attention AJ told me to get up there and we screamed and off I went (thanks to the rose tour peeps for helping me through) as I turned to start going up the stairs Nick sees me smiles at me and said to get up there so he came over to grab my hand and takes me where to stand and I realized this was the wet T-Shirt contest and now  I know I’m no skinny girl and I was the biggest girl out of the group chosen and I cannot dance I know I can’t dance but I went ahead and made this to be best time ever I was on stage and getting wet by Nick, AJ and Howie how many fans get to say that right? I remember Howie kept shooting at my boobs LOL and AJ squirted me in the face and damn the salt water burns your eyes lol! Eventually at some point I moved over to the left so my friend could get a few photos of me up on stage but it was too late after it was over I hugged AJ telling thank you and headed off the stage. 

I ended up just watching the other games didn't even think about taking photos I was just having a good time enjoying what was around me, I think the musical chairs was funny but the coconut game was the far best due to Howie falling on his partner LOL and not to mention how freaky they were getting ;)

I fell and ended up just staying this way for a bit, :) 

I didn't mind having sand all over me!

Brian came back and took photos with fans and I told him “I don’t want a photo but my friend does” he gives me the usual look (it’s sort of a joke between us I guess) and of course her camera was acting up and Brian told me to hurry up I said I can’t the camera isn’t working ha-ha. (It seems every time I take a photo for someone with Brian the camera wants to not work) LOL

Howie came down eventually and we were able to get another photo with him which he didn’t mind at all I asked him if I could have another he said of course.

Thanks Howie!! 

AJ and I. 

Nick made his way finally towards the end and I asked him if I could get a photo and he said yes with a smile he kept waiting for me but other fans were taking theirs so I asked Nick if he could move over here a little to where I could get to him (a canon was between us) and he did so and we took a photo and I told him thank you and he said something I think he said you’re welcome but not 100%.

I love this photo of us!!! Amazing!!

(Mike always photo bombing) LOL

I went up above to get some water and Rose Tour member showed me where it was and got me couple and Nick was up there of course I had to walk by him to get go back down and I just told him thank you for everything he’s all no problem and smiled. I also ran into Howie, Brian, and Leighanne but let them be if we made eye contact I just smiled. As we were leaving Howie and Nick were at the bar (we were waiting for my friend’s husband) Nick ordered a strawberry daiquiri but it was a virgin one ;) We were headed back to the boat which took forever since our boat wouldn't lock or something but eventually we off and headed to our cabin to shower and get ready for dinner.

I was once again excited for dinner and this time I tried something new which was alligator bites it was pretty good but for entree I had shrimp and lobster oh yum!! After dinner we headed back to our cabin to get ready for the concert but wanted to wear our Halloween costumes during so we didn't have to worry about it later, I finally gave in after awhile and changed and Casy did my the eye shadow on my make up :)  I loved my costume but I should of thought bout how it’s all black I felt like I was invisible during the concert LOL (no joke) My photos were mostly dark so I just enjoyed the concert which is something I rarely do. I was so happy to see this show again since I only got to see it once during the US tour.

After the concert which seemed to go by so quick we headed back to the cabin to freshen up a bit, hang out and talked for awhile after tears and hugs we headed to Lido deck for Halloween night which was awesome to see a lot of fans dressed up. We was close by for the beginning I took a few photos but my photos were once again dark so I just left and I honestly cannot remember where I went or what I did heck I don’t remember the boys doing YMCA LOL and I only had two drinks this evening one at the concert and one at the theme party. It was like 2am when I realized how tired I was I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open but I wanted to see Nick at Nite but sadly I didn't’t make it I got ready for bed and I could hear Nick djing from my bed LOL but eventually I passed out.

Gen and I during Halloween Night

Casy and I Halloween night this was taken shortly before I crashed, can you notice how tired I am? LOL 

Having a drink (so good) I think it was called Twlight? 

Backstreet Boys Cruise 2013 - Day 1

Wow that a weekend to remember, not sure how to start this but let's just say the cruise keeps getting better each time. Each day seemed to be crazier as the cruise was ending but let me start at the beginning.

October 26th 2013
 My friend Amanda and I arrived pretty early which I didn't mind since I really wanted to see the boys go on the boat which worked out perfectly I ended up getting hello's from all of them expect AJ.

AJ arriving.

Rest of BSB and staff  arriving and getting on boat. :) 

  After the boys went on we was able to get on the boat shortly after, 

we took photos and headed to the buffet since I was starving (didn't have breakfast) we also ordered the specialty drink of the day which contained run and I'm not a big fan of rum but I wanted the cup so badly so I just told myself to suck it up and drink it. 


AJ and Howie came in to get some food and they were mobbed, fans were surrounding taking photos, I happened to go over to AJ and just told him that I wanted to say hi, he looks at me, smile and says "how you doing babe" I said good and thanks, and let him be.

 After we got done eating we started walking out onto the Lido deck to go to our cabin and Brian and Leighanne  was coming towards us to the buffet (poor guy was mobbed by fans) we just said hello to him and walked to our cabin to drop off our stuff, I actually loved our cabin we had more room than what I was used too and our cabin was on the same floor as the guys just opposite side. 

Until the we had the mandatory drill we just walked around the boat, talked with other fans, made some new friends, saw some old friends as well. As we went to the drill I told people there is no safety on the boat as a joke because I said this is boring and I know it's important but really we wanted to was party can you blame us? During the seating for it my friend Kristi has found me and sat with me and we ended up being a tad loud but my friend was partly drunk LOL!! 

The sail away party was fun we had a decent spot on the left side towards the stage we got to watch the boys come up from the down below and I thought they all looked sexy with their sailing suits on. I enjoyed watching the boys interact with us, having fun and being a tad dirty lol after it ended we watched the boys go back down the stairs (it was sort of their getaway thing). AJ came down into the crowd and walked by us and I asked for a photo and the outcome turned out to be a very cute photo. :)

Adorable right? LOL I look high but I'm not. 

(ignore the girls boob in the photo)

 I showed Amanda around the boat since she's never been on one as we do we walked by the casino and long behold there was Howie walking down the stairs so of course we asked for a photo since he wasn't surrounded by a lot of fans there was about 6 of us total, he said of course but he did seem like in a hurry so I tried to be quick as possible  when I asked. Amanda's photo didn't come out right so I knew Howie was at the elevator waiting so I slowly walked up and in my sweet cute way I told him that the photo didn't come out and if he could retake it and he said yes he was very sweet about it after the photo was taken I ended up thanking Howie again and I ended up trying to give him Amanda's camera and it took me a few seconds to realize what I had done and I had a embarrassed look on my face and I apologized to Howie and we both ended up laughing he touched/rubbed my shoulder telling me it's okay lol and he winked at me before we left. This is the most time I've ever had with Howie expect his event in 2004 in NYC and to be honest I was starting to love Howie more and more on this cruise!

How awesome is this? They went all out for this cruise! 

Howie and I, no flash so it's a little dark but still came out decent :) 

you know I had too, I did it for the BSB Star :) LOL 

Trisha, Kristi and I at the Sail away party

I was taking off my shades when this happened lol 

We went to the dining room for dinner and I was very excited I find the dinning room food to be amazing and 10 time better than the buffet. I also ended up getting up and dancing with the servers for a few minutes which was fun but yet embarrassing because I can't dance but it was in all in fun and that's the whole point but damn some of those servers can get very low ;) 

Thanks to Amanda for taking a couple of photos lol 

We went to look at the mechanize and sadly I didn't get anything my budget wasn't even enough so afterwards we headed back to the cabin to put up our door decorations  also to freshen up and get ready for the neon glow party (thanks Casy for helping, also thank you to Paul for helping me with the lights) we had to be ready by 9:30pm for Are You Smarter Than A Backstreet Boy, while waiting the boys did perverted things on the screen and I couldn't help but laugh my head off and I wish I would of recorded it. When they drew names it came close for me they said Shannon but not my last name lol so yes we freaked for a second lol. I thought this game was a lot of fun it shows the boys doesn't know themselves much as we thought they did JK lol. Brian also had a small bouncy ball he played with a lot and one point it got lost and he started fake crying and such it was cute/funny. He was throwing the ball to the fans sorta like playing catch and he threw it to me at one point and I caught it but I didn't do a good throw because honestly didn't want to hit him so I made a bad throw on purpose so he did miss it LOL (If Brian even remembers from the event when he did the dunk booth, I have a pretty good arm, since I dunked him 3 times) 

Part of our door decoration, Amanda's was on the other side LOL

Waiting for Are You Smarter Than A Backstreet Boy in or neon glow outfits :)

After the event we headed to the to Lido deck for the first theme night which was "Don't Put Out The Glow Neon Party" thanks to the boys we had free drinks for a hour the drinks were amazing the blue one was my favorite.

 I stood close by and took a few photos and as crowd kept moving I ended up towards the center (this is where I lost Amanda and Casy) ended up getting to see Nick, smile and touched his hand along with many other girls, Brian also came down and was giving out glow sticks and he saw me and ended up smiling at me saying hey and handed me one which made me smile. Nick and AJ started crowd surfing and crowd around me was getting more intense so I ended up squeezing my way out while Brian was crowd surfing and as I exit I ended up having to help Brian over us and other fans around me couldn't hold his weight but I was trying very hard but didn't realize at the time I was trying to do so by having his butt in my hands LOL he tells us/me to set him down and as we do he turned right at me, looks at me with a smile and tries to tells something in my ear but I ended taking my hand and moving his face to tell him I need to read his lips so he did and he told me "you hit the right spot" I laughed so hard and was like no way I wasn't trying to go anywhere near your butt just trying to hold u up LOL we ended up having a good laugh that warmed my heart,  he pulled me into a hug I told him thank you, so with fans around us surrounding I let him be and headed out of the crowd. 

Ignore the girl in background, I guess some people just don't know how to grow up ;) 

As the night went on I just mostly walked around and just enjoyed what was happening around me, saw more friend's but I have to admit I didn't watch the boys too much esp up on the balcony part. Later on in the night I ended up standing with this crowd to see what was going on and shortly later Nick came out and I said hello he smiled and said hi to me, I read Mikes lips stating no photos so in meantime I found Amanda and we headed back to our cabin and as we do we happened to see Nick but didn't bother him I just took a photo but he did smile at us. We were in our cabin with the door open for a little bit waiting to use the restroom Nick walks by looks at our door decoration, makes eye contact with me while I was on my bed in my cabin, he flash a quick smile and I just stayed still and so glad I wasn't doing something stupid or embarrassing lol! No idea what he was doing but all I know is fans kept following him and he went into the elevator, so therefore I headed back to my cabin got ready for bed and crashed on the pillow with a smile on my face.

This was before I headed to my cabin and saw Nick shorter after again LOL

Hope I didn't forget anything. :( 

Round 2 for Aaron Carter, right?

After the mishap on November 5th I decided since I already purchased a ticket I would attend and see what happens but I was gonna make sure to be front row. My friend picked me up and headed downtown to meet up with another friend ended up eating at a pizza place near by had couple drinks and good pizza.

Once we were in we gotten our spots and do what we needed to do (get meet and greet passes) thanks again to my friend if it wasn't for her I wouldn't of been able to meet Aaron. :) We were front row and ready to go we enjoyed AshTree and Carson of course when Jayceon came out we were ready to get the show started Jayceon came down to me a couple of times showing some love and sang to me which was nice (no photo though) 
One point in show Jayceon gives away a small gift bag and I wanted it but it was taken off the stage by Carson (not sure why) but Jayceon was looking for it I told him "I know where it is, Carson took it and I want it" he repeated " you want it" I said "yes" LOL!! I made him laugh as well but sadly never got the gift bag. :( There was a guy who was video taping couple of songs I wonder if I'm in it? LOL

Aaron finally came on like after 9:30 I think it was due to having a 4th opening act. Aaron came out starting the show with I Want Candy and ended with Aaron's Party. During To All The Girls he came over to our side and saw my friend and I and got all excited he went to touch her hand, then looks at me with a big smile and creases my cheek before girls tried grabbing it and that moment I was so happy I ended up hugging my friend and Aaron saw it and thought it was sweet. :) During How I Beat Shaq I was so into it and started singing along and Aaron saw me and we both sang together for a verse it was pretty awesome LOL I was moving my hands and such like I meant business ha-ha I thought it was a awesome moment and too bad there's no photo or videos of it.:( We ended up getting good amount of eye contact with Aaron but most of all we just enjoyed the show (which is why I don't have photos or videos) I wanted to just dance, enjoy the show and have a good time. 

Aaron also sang some covered songs which I don't remember them all but I do remember I Want It That Way by Backstreet Boys no surprise right? Well I guess some girls booed at him while he was doing so therefore he kicked the girls out which was priceless! ha-ha!

The VIP took as we were towards the end but the waiting was worth it. I started walking up and put my stuff down (I also put my aaron carter pass down with it so it's not in the photo) as I walked up to Aaron he says all exciting "What's up girl!" and we ended up giving a hug to each other and I asked him about November 5th or if he heard anything which he hasn't so I started to tell him I got kicked out and he goes "What did you do"! I'm like nothing just defending myself but I told him hey for the 4 songs I did see you perform you were great and he looks at me with a weird look and said Thank You! LOL He asked me how I was I told him fine and trying to get back into life as from the cruise I told him bout it and he asked me bout it and we talked bout the cruise and Nick of course, I told him that it was a no sleep cruise. I asked him if we could take two photos and he goes of what "us, together" LOL I felt so stupid when I realized what he meant so I asked him one for a kiss and he goes "on the cheek right" I said yes that's fine so we take the first one, and 2nd one was the kissy one and he had his lips on my cheek for a good amount of seconds because the photographer was saying how cute of a photo it was too not take it LOL as I was leaving I asked him bout the FT. Collins show and he said it was postponed not canceled so I told him I would see him then he smiled and told me good-bye I walked down the steps to meet up with my friend's and we all said good-bye and headed home. :) As we were chatting my pass was given to Aaron to sign and not sure why since I had something else to be signed so I ended up leaving with 2 signatures. 

I would say that the show itself was very different from the set I saw in March like dancers vs the band. This show seemed to be more mellow and not so crazy but maybe I'm wrong but either way I enjoyed the show and wouldn't mind seeing it again! 

 This is Jayceon, left bottom corner in the front is myself. :) 

 Aaron and I - our first photo

Aaron and I - our 2nd photo 

Too adorable don't ya think? :) 

Only at a Aaron Carter show

Aaron Carter was coming back to Colorado for 3 shows which in the end ended up being a show and a half. This may seem weird to you but it's true. I was picked up by a friend and we headed to Boulder thinking we were gonna miss the show as we arrived I was told that the show was sold out and I started freaking out I didn't get my ticket until last minute just in case I couldn't go or something but waiting til last minute was not best idea. Thankfully after walking around the area to see whats up we started walking towards the front of venue and this guy came out (who had a Aaron Carter working pass) and told me I look like I must be freezing (yes it's chilly and no jacket) I was freezing my ass off but I explained my situation to him and I was able to get in so my friend and I were so happy we celebrated by having a drink or two. The place was empty so we grabbed our spots and waited for opening acts AshTree and Carson to play which we didn't know we had a 3rd opening act name Jayceon and he was pretty awesome we were into his set. By the time Aaron came out our area was packed in and mind you we are in the balcony for a reason to not be shoved, pushed, etc well these group of girls (underage) started shoving my friend and I into the railing and it was on purpose as the way they were doing it and trying to "dance" I'm sorry but don't elbow me non stop and expect me to not do a thing so I asked them a few times nicely if they could stop doing that and just it be but they couldn't so I ended up getting kicked 3 times in the leg so I finally stood around and saw this one girl hiding behind her friend I grabbed her hair and asked if she wanted to do this right now so in return I got my hair pulled which I expected but I got kicked and my sides were grabbed and twisted, there was a guard like few steps from us and he saw what was going on and my friend even tried to get him but he ignored it so another guard finally comes and he tries to talk to me but I can't hear him but he leaves and then comes back and tells me to follow him I told him I couldn't hear him and so he grabs my purse and starts to head out to the lobby where I ended up telling him that I'm deaf and can't hear him and so then he sees my finger with blood on it tells me that I choked and punched a girl and kicks me out without letting me even explain and I didn't even know I had that until he pointed it to me but I had gotten it from having to hold myself against the railing yes that's how bad they were pushing and shoving us, I had explained my story to two other people working there and nothing I was like it's great to know that I get kicked out for defending myself but yet what they did to me was okay and they could stay.... are you kidding me?? I was peeved to them not kicking them out rather just myself I know what I did was wrong and should of done something else but I shouldn't been the only one kicked out if that's how it was gonna be. Btw the photo below the guy in the background was the one that kicked me out and such, let's just say I did complain that night to the manager when I got home :) 

I still had one more Aaron show to do since FT. Collins was postponed all I could think was "should I even go"? Well next blog will tell u. 

Confusion

I hate being confused and today I'm just that. Don't know what to do I just can't stop thinking. I've been spending time at my friend's house, it helps me get away from things at home and when I do get home I'm wanting to be at Joey's hanging out, chilling, spending time with my cats (they staying over there since there's more room for them to roam around) and when I'm at Joey's I wanna be home with TV, Internet and my bed. The answer I'm looking for is WHAT DO I DO? *sighs* I just hate having these mixed feelings and signals.

Getting closer....

Few weeks ago up to today I honestly wasn't excited due to the fact of how I've gained weight the past few months and due to that my clothes aren't fitting me right, and you may wonder why I'm worried about that? Well it's because I've seen people make fun of me for my weight, what I wear, my hearing, what I do, how I talk, and it does get to you eventually and it tears you down. Thanks to my friend's they have improved my mood and cheered me up I'm going to go on that boat and wear what I wanna wear proudly even if it shows my big ass stomach I'm human and it happens I just can't be stressing about being made fun because it's gonna happen one way or another because there are some cruel people out in this world. I'm somewhat packed but having trouble my carry on is stuffed and I still have things to put in and it won't fit and my suitcase looks like it's gonna explode LOL I don't want to check in my luggage for two reason A) I don't want to pay for the fee's I think it's crap B) I don't want my luggage to be lost, I always worry about that. My main thing I'm worried bout is my poster that I'm needing to bring it won't fit in my suitcase and in my backpack it sticks out :\ I hope they tell me I can't bring it, I was actually just gonna have it on the side of the seat/window. Now after my little rant, everyone excited?! :) w00t w00t

Backstreet & Cruising!!

I honestly don't know how many days are left until we are on the boat with Backstreet Boys but I also will be leaving on the 22nd of Oct and spending couple of extra days in Miami which I'm so excited about! :) Today I finally got the things I needed for theme night I had to do cheap as possible due to lack of money ha-ha. Halloween night I brought a costume that cost me 20.00 but I had to go to BFE to get it at the Wal-Mart they shipped it too, I'll probability wear my flats that I have to wear with it or it'll just be black flip flops I refuse to wear heels :) Glow/Neon theme night I have my bright pink shorts, I have my white tank top but has writing and hearts with bright colors (so awesome and my favorite) so that will be perfect with it :D I also got some glow-sticks, my roommate and I might get some paint or something but not 100% sure yet. I honestly wasn't too thrilled for BACHELORETTE party night but I honestly am glad its happening because I went all out for this one but cheap as well. I got my necklace that I had gotten in New Orleans that is with penises and inside is white gooey stuff and I hope you know what is meant for, and you can squeeze it and it comes out LOL!! I love it some people find it disgusting but it's all for fun and humor, so it doesn't bother me. I also brought a stash and a tiara that lights up with penises! LOL I can't wait it's gonna be so awesome yes I'm very excited!! Now I just need to get my one way home flight back to Denver otherwise I'll just be living on the Miami beach LOL I wouldn't mind but I'm sure my parents would be pretty pissed off if I didn't come home. I also need to save up some spending money (won't be much but little) and of course the door decorations, I'm gonna try and start on that tomorrow or Saturday. :) All I can is I cannot believe it's next month I remember when it used to be like 9 months to go! LOL

My view on Long Beach

When you look at the photo above, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? This might sound weird or different but for me peaceful comes to mine. Walked the entire beach and all I kept saying was this is so peaceful no wonder people say they love coming to the beach to clear their head and if I lived by one I would be saying the same thing!

All I wanted to do was just watch the waves and believe me if it could happened I would still be there watching the waves no joke, I didn't want to leave the beach, when I left the beach to head back for the last night I was in Long Beach I was devastated, I also remember just looking back on the photos and video I took and just kept thinking if only......

I find the ocean between your toes and on your feet is the best feeling in the world, it's something that I would think about daily, but not only it's the feeling I miss in the world right now, while I'm stuck in Colorado. Don't get me wrong Colorado is a beautiful state but living here all my life I'm bored of the mountain life and I know that beach life is more of who I am.

Next obsession I have next to the beach that will be palm tree's I can't get over them and I so wish I could have at least one palm tree in my backyard, you're probability thinking I'm crazy or something but I find palm tree's to be relaxing.

This is most likely one of the best photos I ever taken of myself at a beach, I don't care how bad I look or how fat and disgusting I look from anyone else's view but to me this is just amazing, the sun setting behind, shining off the beach, all I could say to myself was "someday, I will be living here" that someday might not be anytime soon but hopefully it's in my future.

I often sit back and just think about the days I could be going to have some fun on the shore, enjoying some nice diner by the water and enjoying a light cool breeze but hearing the waves crashes in the background. This was one of the best photo's I taken after the sun has set in for the evening.