Yay!!! :)

I just wanted to say thank to you to all who been keeping my mother and I in your prayer's and thinking about us, because it's been working and now we just need to keep doing it until it happens!!

My mom went to the doctor's on Thursday and they told her that she was high on the list and she will be getting her kidney end of this to next year!!!!!

When my mom told me she was happy and couldn't stop smiling and I honestly loved seeing her happy and smiling again!!

Choices and more!

Well first off, I'm doing much better and thank you all for your words and encouragement! :)

I woke up a lot better this morning and I realized that the jerk didn't love me, you don't cheat on your love ones, and it being his choice it was very known of what was going on and I can say that he was a coward before, didn't change and still is a coward,and a user! I believe he was going to use me for my money because all he talked bout was paying off some of his debt so I can move down with him and whatnot, which I kept thinking it was wrong for many reason's, and I did block all contact info with him so he has no way to contact me.

I also woke up this morning and know that I should of listened to my own mother and friend's when they warned me to not go back with him and now I know for the future listen to them and not my heart, because I listened to my heart and it did wrong. I also realized that I have many things ahead of me and I should be happy and excited for so I'm not going to let some stupid jerk bring me down, I know I will get through this on my own even if I don't get to hang out with friend's because truth to be told I don't have many and I called a few yesterday to talk to and none replied and I thought that was disrespectful, because I'm always there for my friend's when they need me to be, or I def try to be there for them!

I decided that I'm going to pay off my car loan so that is out of my way and not have to worry, I still have a lot to go and I figured why not just pay it off ya know? I'm also going to pay back my parents much as I can of money that I owe them, as well my aunt. I also plan to get my car fixed, then I'm going to save some as well as treat me to some stuff as well, I'm not sure what to get but I've been wanting a Wii and I want the Wii fitness too but I'm not sure what other games I would like to get as well, but does anyone have the Biggest Loser game? I also am into Mario games as well but the fitness is what I really need so I can workout when I come home nightly from babysitting.

Hope everyone is having a good Thursday!! It's hot here, yesterday we had bad storms and tornado warnings until late at night and big size hail that did tons of damage, lucky the tornado missed my house and my area and no big damage was done, I'm really thankful, I can say this is one thing I dislike bout summer is the bad storms, :\

Today it's suppose to be really hot and with more bad storms, I sure hope it just passes us, sure the rain would be nice but it's never just rain with us sometimes, ha-ha! I wanna go tanning but I can't, it's not easy with a 20 month old hah.

Numb and hurt!!

Last night I figured something was wrong because Mickey never had a problem texting me while he was with his friend's or watching a movie so when he told me he was doing that last night with his friend I figured that was not even right but I brushed it off but when I woke up this morning to no text from him like I usually do I knew something was bad so after a hard time waiting to find out what and why he texts me saying he did something bad and that he cheated on me with a friend of his from the army, they had "ran" into each other, went to the bar and then so forth he said he didn't go all the way with her because he loved me but I was like no, you choses to meet up with her, get drunk at a bar and the worse was going home with her, I was like don't even use being drunk as a excuse, I was so pissed and hurt and when we got back together over a month ago he made a promise he would never hurt me, and look he broke that damn promise and now I feel like complete shit, all I can do is think of what I did to deserve this and why, I'm really hurt, sad, betrayal, upset, confused.

We was engaged then we took a step back and waited until we were living together and such so we've been planning for me to move down there within the next month or so and I thought everything was going great but I was totally wrong.

I mean I don't get why he couldn't of just walked away or not met up with her I mean did he not think of anything before he did this?

All I did was call him and yelled at him, and I told him I was getting into my car and coming to get my stuff, because I didn't want to face him {his mother was home} it was hard and I have not stopped crying since this morning and I have the worst headache, my eyes are red and puffy, and I'm having a hard time breathing, this is just too much pain and I know I've gotten through this before but I'm not sure how I will this time.

I just really thought he loved me and I honestly try to think if you love someone you wouldn't do something like this no matter what, straight, drunk, whatever, but now I know my trust is completely gone, I honestly don't know how I'm going to be able to trust another guy in the future, and I'm not saying it'll be anytime soon, but like this was my ex boyfriend once and now he's double my hurt this time around and I've been hurt before by my ex husband so I'm thinking there is no way to trust a guy, I mean I feel they are all the same.

I mean such great things were going for me, and now this happens, I mean I know it's not the end of the world but you have to know where I'm coming from to know why I feel the way I do, and I told him from day one that I don't believe in cheating, and I don't tolerate it at all, I find the smallest thing to be cheating and I also believe once a cheater always a cheater.

Sorry but I had to vent and let this out, please no rude comments stating that I deserve this or whatnot because I believe no one ever deserves to be hurt like this.

Yay! I signed up and don't know why, LOL!

Oh well, here I am!!

:)

I guess this is where I'll go to bitch, vent, share, whatnot. :)